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A desperate plea to any quarterback: Please come to FSU

Are you a quarterback? Do you have an arm? No, I don’t mean a solid arm, or even an accurate arm. You only want to have an appendage enough to grip a football.

Do you have eligibility?

Okay, cool. Can you remember to arrive to FSU?

Significantly, I don’t treatment if you’re in fact great. We just want bodies to discipline a spring recreation at this level.

I’ve racked my brain considering that FSU skipped out on Maryland-certain Lance Legendre and I can’t look to imagine of a great option.

Do we still have Joe Mauer’s letter of intent on file?

Can Ziggy send us Scott Bakula from Needless Roughness?

Does Johnny Utah have any eligibility left?

This is in which we are now. Firing bullets straight up in the air, hoping they don’t arrive straight dow-AARRRRTGHGHGHHGHHGGHGHHGHGGHGHGHGHGHGGHGHHGHGHGHGHGHGHGGHG

HOW HAVE WE NOT SIGNED A High School QUARTERBACK IN TWO CYCLES?

HOW IS THE ONLY QUARTERBACK Now Suitable TO Engage in IN 2019 THE Very last QUARTERBACK WE SIGNED?

WHAT ON EARTH IS Taking place IN TALLAHASSEE?

This is how the application ends. Not with a whimper, but with a BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG ARRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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